Sometimes, you need to say something more touching than a simple thank you.  Last week we were talking about the comment “There never was such a goose” as a way to express appreciation.   When the event is special, the comment needs to be pretty focused and well crafted. Think of how special a Christmas dinner is… yet the comment, as simple as it is, works flawlessly in making Mrs. Cratchit feel appreciated and special.   What was the event that you used as your platform? Why did you pick this event? Was there something about the event, the person, or what you were commenting about that made this special for you?  Christmas dinner can be pretty special, but I really believe that a sincere compliment as part of a normal, routine interaction, if deserved, has staying power to linger in the memory of the receiver for a long time.  How easily and naturally did the comment roll off your tongue?  Was it something spontaneous, or did you take time to craft your comment? If you are not good at improvising and need to think through these sorts of things, then be careful that the comment doesn’t come across as flat or pre-calculated.  I am fairly quick at improv comments, but not the most socially/situationally sensitive. This week’s exercise made me have to give thought to interactions and what could be the story behind the story. Maybe something simple wasn’t as simple as it looked, maybe there is more meaning to something than what’s on the surface.  My personal challenge is to be keener to not just take things at face value. This Week’s Talk The Cratchits, though of limited means, had an abundant and special meal. The celebration started with everyone coming home, then celebrating the goose. Now, we hear that all were full from dinner, while some portion of the meal remains uneaten. The celebration moves to the desert waiting outside for them. After the pudding, the Cratchits all gather round the hearth for sharing of the punch. Dicken’s tells us how Mrs. Cratchit worries about the state of the pudding. Could it have been stolen? What if it didn’t turn out as it should?  All the more insight into how complicated family members feeling for each other can be. Mrs. Cratchit wasn’t worried about not being able to sell her pudding. She wasn’t worried about losing a customer. There was no money related to this. It was all about wanting a special event for her family and wanting every detail to be perfect. Dickens takes several paragraphs to walk us through the festivities going on in the Cratchit home.  Could he be trying to draw this out and make it painfully clear to Scrooge that the real wealth in life has nothing to do with money?  Scrooge has to witness this abundance of joy and a shared family event. Through the entire story up to this point, we have not seen Scrooge have a family event like this. When his sister takes him home for the holidays, we don’t hear of anything special occurring during the holiday. We know his father doesn’t want him home long so certainly that doesn’t set the stage for a joyous celebration.  Somewhat later in life, we see that he partakes in the festivities at Fezziwig’s. Although this was certainly a fun time, and the extended family of Fezziwig partook in the party, Scrooge and Dick Wilkins sleep in the back as part of the store. Did Scrooge see himself as part of the family? We are not really provided any evidence that Scrooge ever valued the joy of family and wanted that for himself prior to this visitation. This Week’s Assignment Scrooge has to see that a family of limited means, living in a lesser home, is able to find joy and happiness. Even without the wealth that Scrooge so deeply desires, the Cratchits come together and are appreciative for all that they have.  They are sincerely happy for their blessings and most of all for having each other.  Tiny Tim, not able to partake in all the activities, destined to a life of hardship, exhibits pure joy in his wanting to be sure that all are blessed. He doesn’t ask for any special treatment. Tiny Tim doesn’t complain about his situation. Instead, he looks for ways to help others. Scrooge, even with his wealth and abundance, doesn’t display the joy and charity that Tiny Tim and the Cratchits do. Scrooge has to face the struggle of how a family that is of limited means can be so joyful yet with his abundance he is bearing witness to his own bitterness and faults.   Are there some universal values that we all share regardless of our socio-economic status? The joy of family; the sense of a job well done; appreciation for what we do have and less focus (complaining) about what we don’t; finding the good and happiness in the moment, and being able to leave our cares behind at least for a short while. Tiny Tim, who may not even have a year to live, still finds joy in his day and handles his daily interactions with peace. You and me, with all we are blessed with, still complain. Tiny Tim, as we all know, as the dinner comes to a close, shows us how big his heart is when he utters “God bless us every one! ” You have learned to be grateful. You have learned that your thoughts control your actions, and your actions determine your future. For this week, you challenge is to keep a glass half full perspective.  Pay attention to your thoughts.  No complaining. no sarcasm, no negativity. See you next week…