Why don’t people like you? It was harsh for Scrooge to have to hear what people really say and think about him. Last week’s exercise was for you to put yourself in Scrooge’s place. You were asked to think about what others may say about you; why people would not like you, not respect you, and not care about you or your feelings. If you said you don’t really care about what others think of you or what they think of what or how you do things then…. complete this exercise again. Everyone’s opinion doesn’t matter but the fact that you just dismiss it is what concerns me. Recall our other exercise where we talked about how you could be wrong? I am not proposing that everything we do, we do to make others happy. I am proposing that you need to consider that you could be wrong. In some cases, there are multiple “right” answers and right ways. Being sensitive to the fact that you could be “wrong” may mean that there are multiple rights so proceed gently and ask yourself what your real desire is. Do you want to be right; or do you want to do right? Which is the objective; the end or the means? It is possible that what you think is right, is wrong, and it is a certainty that right or wrong you can learn from others. Remember, if you want different results then you have to change. How can you change when you can’t admit you, are or at least could be, wrong?
This Week’s Talk
The movies and the original book deviate at this point a bit. After some minor activity, for all the movies I can recall, the focus transitions to Scrooge’s nephew’s house. Scrooge and the Spirit of Christmas Present are at Scrooge’s nephew’s house observing the festivities. They overhear the group tease his nephew about Scrooge calling Christmas a humbug. They ridicule Scrooge for having his wealth and not doing any good or getting any pleasure from it.
Just like last week where Scrooge had to listen to Mrs. Cratchit speak ill of him, Scrooge has to listen to how others think less of him for his behaviors and cantankerous, ill willed attitude. Scrooge notices that his nephew’s fiancé is an attractive woman so we get a sense that Scrooge still has some touch of humanity left. As the group talks about Scrooge and all his faults, Scrooge’s nephew somewhat comes to his defense in a bit if an underhanded way and says “.. his offenses carry their own punishment, and I have nothing to say against him.”
This Week’s Assignment
For the next few minutes, or pages if you are reading, we get to learn what some of those punishments are. Scrooge misses out on some good food, he misses out on participating in the many different games that they are playing, he misses out on the opportunity to be a part of the larger extended family and associated companionship, and he denies his extended family and their friends his companionship. Perhaps worst of all, he denies himself the memories of happy times.
Our offenses carry their own punishment. Powerful thought. Do our offenses have to be something that we do “wrong”? What did Scrooge do wrong? He didn’t steal from someone. He didn’t physically hurt anyone. He didn’t deny or prevent someone from doing something they were entitled to. He didn’t lie or significantly misrepresent the truth that we are aware of. We need to think of his offenses in a different perspective. There are crimes of commission. Crimes that result from things that we did. There are also crimes of omission. Crimes that result from us not doing something. I am not just referring to criminal type crimes. I am talking about crimes in the greater sense of general wrong doings.
Your assignment this week is to think about what you are missing out on by the things you are NOT doing. Are you working too many hours and missing out on family activities? Are you too busy with family activities and missing out on promotional activities at work? Are you still holding a grudge against someone and missing out on their friendship? Are you not engaging in physical activities and missing out on the joy of a good sweat? Are you too self-centered and missing out on the joy of serving others? The list goes on and on. What are you missing out on?
See you next week…